Be safe, don't exist
The Delhi Police's booklet containing tips for women from the Northeast to be safe in the capital exposes only their own need for sensitivity training. Not surprisingly, many northeastern students in Delhi are incensed at being portrayed as responsible for their own problems, writes Kalpana Sharma.
The Delhi police have given a new twist to the old tale of women’s safety in cities. In their desire to “protect” women especially from northeast India, they have issued a strange booklet. Titled “Security tips for Northeast students/visitors in Delhi”, the booklet sets out tips that are supposed to help women from northeast India feel safe on the streets of India’s capital.
For the uninformed, this might sound an unusual step for the capital’s police force to take. But Delhi is the place where several students from northeast India have been raped in recent years. The booklet suggests indirectly that this could be because of the way the women dress. So once again, the onus for remaining safe has fallen on the women.
The booklet, with an introduction by Deputy Commissioner of Police, Robin Hibu, who is an IPS officer from the Northeast, is remarkable for its language and its contents. On a dress code it suggests: “When in rooms do as Roman does” (whatever that means). Under security tips: “Revealing dress to be avoided.” “Avoid lonely road/ bylane when dressed scantily”. And “dress according to sensitivity of the local population.” The fact that for the male half of the local population, your being a woman is enough provocation to tease, fondle or attack irrespective of how you are dressed does not seem to count.
Inappropriate and offensive
I have only read excerpts from the booklet. For all its good intentions, it is clearly inappropriate and offensive to the sensibilities of women from Northeast India. Not only does it give gratuitous and useless advice to women but it also proceeds to tell everyone from northeast India how they should behave in Delhi. How else can one explain a sentence that reads: “Bamboo shoot, Akhuni and other smelly dishes should be prepared without creating ruckus in neighbourhood”. Smelly dishes creating a “ruckus”? This would be amusing if it were not culturally offensive.
If cities are safe for women, they will be safe for everyone. Gender audits done in cities like Mumbai have thrown up ideas that, if implemented, would make all cities more liveable.
• Rape in the urban environment
Not surprisingly, many northeastern students in Delhi are incensed by this insensitive and pointless effort on the part of the police. Sensitivity training needs to be given to the police, not to the targets of attacks in Delhi. A woman journalist from Manipur narrated in an email discussion how she was almost dragged into an auto-rickshaw at 9.30 at night on a well-lit road with plenty of people around. When she called and complained to the police, she heard them say, “She’s from the northeast. Must have got into the rickshaw herself”. And this after she had identified herself as a journalist.
The booklet also raises yet again the importance of looking at our cities through a gender lens. If cities are safe for women, they will be safe for everyone. Gender audits done in cities like Mumbai have thrown up ideas that, if implemented, would make all cities more liveable.
For instance, mixed-use localities that are well lit are perceived as safer by women because they are rarely deserted and there are people around at all hours. Similarly, cities with a good public transport system are thought of as being women friendly. They are in fact people friendly.
Of course, not all public transport is necessarily safe and cultural factors do come into play. Delhi, for instance, has public transport but to use the buses, women have to wear armour. Even the separate “ladies” seats make little difference because getting to and from those seats is enough to drive you mad. And you are only “safe” for a short time, if you get the window seat. If you get the aisle seat even on a “ladies” seat, you have to be prepared to be leaned upon, groped, fondled, stared at, the works. Anyone who has used buses in Delhi will tell you that separate seats make little difference. Only separate buses would work, but that too when there are enough women to fill them. I personally know of instances where a lone woman in a Delhi bus in the middle of the day has been the subject of harassment from the conductor and the driver.
What do we tell them?
None of this is to say that women must not be on their guard. We know what life is like on the streets. So be prepared. Don’t be foolhardy. This is what we would tell our daughters. But we will also tell them to be confident, to be proud that they are women and not to get cowed down just because the world outside does not give them the respect they deserve as human beings. We will tell them to fight for their rights, whatever the circumstances. But for girls from Northeast India, there is the double burden of being different in terms of how they look and being women. To “protect” them, the police and the Delhi authorities need to launch a mass education and sensitisation programme for the police and the general public.
But to come back to the issue of women and safety, a poster by filmmaker K.P. Sasi, titled Rules for girls, circulated on an email discussion, gives a telling take on this subject:
Don’t go out alone at night That encourages men
Don’t go out alone at any time Any situation encourages some men
Don’t stay at home Intruders and relatives can both rape
Don’t go without clothes That encourages men
Don’t go with clothes Any clothes encourage some men
Avoid childhood Some rapists are turned on by little girls
Avoid old age Some rapists prefer aged women
Don’t have a father, grandfather, uncle or brother These are the relatives that often rape young women
Don’t have neighbours They often rape
Don’t marry Rape is legal within marriage
To be quite sure - DON’T EXIST!
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Cite this article
Kalpana Sharma (2007) ‘Be safe, don't exist’, India Together, 4 August 2007. https://indiatogether.org/dont-op-ed/
6 reader responses
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anuya ulpe · 23 August 2007
Commendable article, Mam. I often write about the same issue in my blog. Anyone would agree that women seem to have no say or place in the legal framework and each time we, women end up fighting for our space. Why should we always fight? Why can't the system change for once? It's no better than a monologue because a little vehement tone calls for feminism and we are easily dismissed at that. What society really needs to do today is not fight about the nuclear deal with US but respect women a little more and treat them as individuals.
Aakanksha Tavag · 28 August 2007
Simply brilliant! Unfortunately, its also almost hilarious in some ways. But thats only if you're satirical. I wonder how men can be so women starved even with SO many (let me add good looking) women around. Lets all migrate to a separate land for just us women and see if that'll teach em! We'll return only on the condition that they treat us well and with the respect we deserve, considering they wouldn't be here if it weren't for us in the first place!!! For, why should we be thankful that there are "at least a few good men in this world" as consolation?
alaka · 8 September 2007
The existing system must change ,there is absolutely no doubt about that.All women on this earth must have the right to survive on their own terms.No fight about that too. But when we as adults and even our daughters wvisit the rural India and go into the villages we do not and cannot dress up the way we do in the cities.For us it is usually a sari with covered head or a salwar kameez with full sleeve covered.This is not pretension ,it is done mainly to bridge the cultural differences .No body compels us but it is simply good dress sense and the respect for the locals . alaka
sandeep · 1 December 2007
a very timely article. it is not the women from north-east who have to change. rather, it is the minds of the police officers who issued that pamphlet that need to be cheked.
Vidya · 13 December 2007
Delhi and several states up north have an abysmal sex ratio. too many men and few females- this is the most important reason why rape and other such violences against women are going up. we must stop female foeticide and ensure girl babies are raised well. as for the NE girls' problem discussed here, all i can say is: m not surprised at all by the way the police has responded. what more can we expect from these male chauvinists who are themselves found abusing women several times!
Manatdeep · 18 September 2008
Very nice article. True this actually in an unanswered question that whether should women should live or not? There are so many restriction one feels it's better not to live.